It's OVER

Sooooo, I'm twenty now. Yup. I'm old.

When I first woke up this morning, I was not excited for my birthday. This week has been one of the worst in a long, LONG time - for a lot of people, not just myself. But you know what? It's the weekend. Week end. The worst is OVER.

No, I'm not being positive, I'm remembering how AWESOME I am, and celebrating it justly.

It Will Be Okay

It's been over a month since I last posted? Really, REALLY? This is genuinely surprising, considering how much I have to talk about... yet somehow, I really don't feel the need to.

First off, she broke up with me. Or did I break up with her? I don't know. It wasn't exactly mutual, but I guess that doesn't matter now.

Secondly, the list of cosplays for AX keeps changing, so I'm going to probably scrap that last list I made.

Third, season two of Not Quite Friends is starting up soon, and I'm super excited to film it.

And fourth... I have amazing friends.

Sure, the millions of people messaging me asking "Are you okay???" is nice and all, but there's something about being told "It will be okay" that's much more comforting.

Don't Quote Me On That

Today's prompt is "favorite quote", and sifting through my long list of favorite quotations on my Facebook profile, I find myself most drawn to this one: "You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." - Jack London

Why? Because as an artist/author/human being, I find this to be true on a daily basis. Inspiration is fleeting, and it's a pain to hang on to, beating it into submission is the only real option.

Here are a few of my other favorite quotes:

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” - C.S. Lewis

"Thank goodness I was never sent to school; it would have rubbed off some of the originality." - Beatrix Potter

"Whoever had decided that school should start so early in the morning and last all day long needed to be hunted down and forced to watch hours of educational television without the aid of caffeine." - Vladimir Tod

"I am living proof that it is possible to profit from being a high school freak." - Meg Cabot

And then, just for the lols, I throw in one of my own quotes:

"Nerdiness is not defined by what you love, but how you love it." - Holly Van Leer

Is it sad that I love my own quotes?

Today

Today was a really good day. I had fun. Though it certainly wasn't perfect, there weren't too many complications. It was... refreshing..? I mean, good things happen every day, but there are certain days where you're having such a good time that things don't bother you as much anymore. That was today.

Oh, sure, I mad as I could possibly be at a few people, but it's not bringing me down. Not today.

Meh

Drama. I hate drama. Why do people drag me into it? I try so hard to avoid it.

Whatever.

People

People are a pain in the butt sometimes.

A lot of the time, actually.

It's getting harder and harder dealing with some of my friends.

That is all.

Four Years

Four years.

Hard to believe how quickly the past four years have passed. In fact, I'm not really sure if I do believe it.

Four years ago I was a ninth grader, just about to drop out of private school for good. I hated just about everything at that point in time, and was about to enter the worst summer of my life, followed by the worst school year of my life.

Yeah.

Fast forward to today. I stepped out of my car and thought "Wow, this is the first time in four years I've been this happy with my life." Then I tripped and fell face first on to concrete. But you know what? I didn't care. I laughed.

Which is good. I think.

I think last Memorial day weekend, exactly one year ago, was the turning point. It's when I started on my whole turning-negatives-into-a-positive kick. Since, I've written songs about everything. And I do mean everything. A little over 50 have been finished since then.

Looking over it, this post is kind of just random reflection. But it's proof that it is possible to move on. Which I am proudly doing.

Tired

Today - or rather, the last 12 hours, which spanned across yesterday/today - was cool. It really was. I got to hang out with my favorite people, had some great laughs, and even made a spontaneous trip to the beach. Epic, right?

Somewhere along the way, however, one of the friend's friends called, and they needed assistance, as their car had broken down at 2am. Okay, not a problem, I didn't really mind. Eventually, after an hour or so, it did start to matter. I got tired. Not physically tired, or else I wouldn't be blogging at nearly six in the morning.

Tired of people? No, I want to hang out with my friends. I suppose I'm just tired of disappointment. Situations and people not living up to their potential. It's depressing. I'm not really sure how any of this nonsense relates, but whatever.

I don't know anymore, I just know I'm really tired.

Sometimes I Wonder...

Why is there no justice in this world?

I Don't Care

It's funny, all my life I've dealt with people who judge in the same manner, I ignore them. I completely disregard negative comments that I know are not true. And, to be honest, I've never really even cared what other people think of me.

I mean, why should I?

But for the first time in my life, I'm starting to recognize how this stance may negatively impact me. Granted, that probably won't change anything.