Chill

Today was... chill. Normally "chilling" irritates me beyond belief because I'm fidgety and have a short attention span.

Today, however, my friend set up an acoustic mini-concert (an audience of 4 or 5) for a band that had an extra day to spend in Riverside. It was fun. The entire atmosphere was relaxed. They're pretty cool guys, I must admit.

Now I'm back to my non-chill self, blasting music, catching up on work I procrastinated, etc.

Equilibrium has been reached.

Or something like that.

Four Years

Four years.

Hard to believe how quickly the past four years have passed. In fact, I'm not really sure if I do believe it.

Four years ago I was a ninth grader, just about to drop out of private school for good. I hated just about everything at that point in time, and was about to enter the worst summer of my life, followed by the worst school year of my life.

Yeah.

Fast forward to today. I stepped out of my car and thought "Wow, this is the first time in four years I've been this happy with my life." Then I tripped and fell face first on to concrete. But you know what? I didn't care. I laughed.

Which is good. I think.

I think last Memorial day weekend, exactly one year ago, was the turning point. It's when I started on my whole turning-negatives-into-a-positive kick. Since, I've written songs about everything. And I do mean everything. A little over 50 have been finished since then.

Looking over it, this post is kind of just random reflection. But it's proof that it is possible to move on. Which I am proudly doing.

The Game Of Life

Why am I in college? Seriously. Don't give me that "to gain more career opportunities" crap either. That's why people go to college. But why am I here? My parents gave me the college or move out ultimatum, but in the end, I could've gone out and gotten a job.

It's like when you're playing Life, the board game. At the beginning, you can either get a career or go to college, and I've forgotten why I chose this path. I think I'm going to add that to my list of what I want to do this summer, figure out why I put myself through this misery of higher education.

Actually, I'll make a list right now:

- Figure out why I'm going to college.

- Learn at least 3 more songs on guitar.

- Clean my room.

- Do well in my summer classes.

- Go on an adventure.

- Post at least 15 drawings.

- Finish at least one video game.

- Write at least one story/fanfiction.

- Do a random favor for a friend. This was actually REALLY easy.

- Watch at least 5 movies.

- Read at least 5 books.

- Continue to blog regularly.

Wow... that's a really long list.

Finally

So, I finally took down the Christmas tree the other day. I also finally started importing all my CDs into iTunes. A daunting task indeed. I'm thinking I'll take a break between every 500 or so songs, but I'm not sure.

It's funny how I'd forgotten about so much of this music, yet still manage to recall all of the lyrics.

Oh, wow, it's almost six a.m. and I still haven't gone to bed yet. You're not surprised, are you?

What To Do With This Thing Called Life

So, I think I've solved my what should I major in dilemma. Kind of.

I'm going to apply to all the UC campuses in southern California with (more or less) different majors at each one. Then, I will be forced to choose from whichever ones I am accepted at. This narrows things down a bit.

Though it's not a legitimate solution, it does put off deciding what to do with my life a few extra months.

Tired

Today - or rather, the last 12 hours, which spanned across yesterday/today - was cool. It really was. I got to hang out with my favorite people, had some great laughs, and even made a spontaneous trip to the beach. Epic, right?

Somewhere along the way, however, one of the friend's friends called, and they needed assistance, as their car had broken down at 2am. Okay, not a problem, I didn't really mind. Eventually, after an hour or so, it did start to matter. I got tired. Not physically tired, or else I wouldn't be blogging at nearly six in the morning.

Tired of people? No, I want to hang out with my friends. I suppose I'm just tired of disappointment. Situations and people not living up to their potential. It's depressing. I'm not really sure how any of this nonsense relates, but whatever.

I don't know anymore, I just know I'm really tired.

Wait, What?

Okay, I have been incredibly quiet lately, I know. I've been slightly-but-not-really busy with friends as of late. That's my excuse and I'm sticking by it.

I hung out with girls for the first time in the past month, and it was really odd. Don't get me wrong, it was tons of fun, the conversations just weren't what I was used to. I suppose I'm just more qualified to talk to guys rather than about them.

I have five classes now instead of two, and it's really not that different. Why is that? The only thing I'm really worried about is history and OMGIFORGOTTOBUYTHATBOOK!!!

Um.... yeeeah, I'd better go.

Spring Break

Spring Break: An overrated break, which is better used for catching up on sleep, rather than trying to cram a million activities into one week.

Impulsive Blogging

I can't seem to fall asleep right now, and it's bothering me to no end. I'm not sure why, either. I normally have trouble falling asleep, but this is worse than normal. I don't know why I'm blogging about it. Actually, I don't know why I do anything. I just do it.

And now I'm going to read. This was a waste of pose space.

OMNOMNOMNOM

Went on my annual Las Vegas trip, which was fun. Still no word from that one friend of mine - which I mentioned in the previous post - that is seriously irritating me. I swear, if I ever become a zombie, I'm eating HIS brains first. That is, if he actually has any.

How To Live

I haven't blogged in quite some time, have I? I've been busy lately, and things have been looking up. School has been tolerable, I hung out with friends, went all sorts of places - including Boston, and have been having tons of fun.

Unfortunately, things aren't looking as bright today. Maybe it seems worse because I have a cold, on the week of spring break too, but life isn't happy at the moment. I try my best to keep this blog relationship drama free, so I won't go into details, but I think I've screwed things up with a friend, after they'd be going so well.

Ugh, why isn't there an eHow article on life?

Midnight Madness

Okay, so, no angst this time around. My last post was rather dismal, as I had been dwelling on the future and such.

Today - technically yesterday, buuut... - was epic on so many levels. It's one of those "THIS is why I'm alive" kind of days. I love my friends, they make this lame world seem so much less repulsive. Granted, these days are few and far between, but I love them anyway.

I've written a post like this before, haven't I?

Final Fantasy XIII came in the mail the other day, been playing it as often as I can. I'm about a fourth of the way through...? Maybe more, I'm not entirely sure.

It's 5am and I'm still awake. My sleep schedule is SO off.

Life Is Exhausting

A bunch of people are home on spring break this week, though mine isn't for another month or so. I'll get the chance to hang out with some of them tomorrow. I should be super excited to actually get out of the house and DO something. But I'm not really. Life is exhausting. Hopefully tomorrow will be epic enough to kill this slump.

Feh

No updates for awhile, huh? Well, my bad luck continued - still haven't gotten my PC back yet, cellphone troubles, my alarm isn't waking me up, etc. - fabulous isn't it? On top of that, it was my birthday weekend, (actual birthday on March 4th) and the birthday party curse lived on. Nothing went as planned, and barely anyone ended up being able to come. Basically, it was the usual.

The good news is that:

1) I've lived to see 19.

2) I've got an A in sociology.

3) I finished 7 songs for FAWM.

That's about it. I could list off the thirty bad things, but I won't bother.

No News Is Good News

So, it's been awhile since I've written. It isn't that I've been busy, simply that I've had absolutely nothing to say. Unfortunately, now that I do, it's not fun news.

My car died while driving home from school today. I managed to start it back up, but we still don't know what's wrong with it. Now, my computer isn't working either. Technology really does hate me, doesn't it?

And don't even get me started on how far behind with FAWM I am. Seriously. Where did February go?

Here It Goes Again...

The weekend was absolutely FABULOUS, despite the accursed Valentines Day, which makes going back to school that much harder. I know a lot of people think of a new semester being a fresh start, but to me it's like reopening an old wound. I suppose that's rather pessimistic, but...

I suppose this attitude was only reinforced, thanks to the... er... poor results of my attempted "fresh start" in winter semester. Remember? Not that I was particularly optimistic then either, but I still wanted to try.

It has been pointed out to me that I will most likely NOT attain change with my current case of neophobia.

Unfortunately... I agree. Ah, well, perhaps I shall be able to analyze this more accurately tomorrow.

OVERWHELMED!!!

Not much to say today, aside from the fact that the next two days are going to be INSANE. I may not even be online much. *GASP* I know, that's a shocker for a lot of people.

Anyway, it seems I can update from Microsoft Word – that's where I'm writing this particular post. It's pretty cool, I guess, but I don't really see the purpose. Though I suppose it would be convenient if I were blogging chapters of a story or something of that nature.

Sigh

Another fun weekend.

No, really, it was one of the best I've had in awhile.

Kind of in depressed mode now though, one of my friends will probably be drinking and whatever this afternoon. *sigh* Oh well, at least I can be his sober fun every once in awhile.

I think the toughest part of being straight edge is watching everyone else waste away.

PS. Perhaps this angst shall pull out a good song from me? I'm way behind with FAWM.

Another One Of THOSE Days...

My eyes are burning, I'm exhasuted, my head hurts, and I haven't even started my research paper yet. Seriously, days like this aren't common, but they sure do take a toll when they do roll around.

I'm not even going to finish all of the things I had planned on, either. This is what I get for procrastinating though. As I've said many times before.

Anyway, tomorrow will be fun though, all this crap will be behind me, and I'll be off having fun with my friends~! That is, if I live that long.

This. Is. WAR!

Wow, it's been awhile. Not really, but anyway.

Spring registration was a nightmare. It started at midnight and somehow managed to consume ten hours of my life. The website ended up crashing - big surprise, thousands of people on at once, all freaking out. Oh yeah, a recipe for disaster.

Either way, I more or less won the battle. I think.

We'll know by spring.

Sometimes I Wonder...

Why is there no justice in this world?

Procrastination

I should stop procrastinating, I know that I should.

And I will...

...as soon as it stops paying off~<3

Just A Few Notes...

Okay, so , you all know that I am a vocalist, yes? Well, today I was wondering what exactly my range was, so I pulled out my electronic piano and tested it - F2 to G5. I was surprised to see that this spanned almost the entire keyboard (which extends from C2 to C6) and thought it should be a goal of mine to get my range to that length :) It sounds rather difficult, but what's a few more notes, eh XD?

Anyway, I decided to post it on here so 1) I remember, and 2) I can actually keep track this way.

What To Do, What To Do...

I've been super spacey the past couple days. This could be attributed to my lack of sleep, but I don't think so. I don't know.

I've let a lot of work for my online class build up, but it really doesn't seem all that important. I guess some things never change :)

Anyway, I'm kinda looking forward to February, not only is it FAWM (http://fawm.org/) but I get a week off between winter and spring semester, so that will be fun. Hard to believe winter is half over already, but I suppose it has been three weeks. Just doesn't feel like it.

I'm debating on what to do for FAWM. In everyday life, I randomly write songs based off whatever I happen to be inspired by at the time. (I'm a fairly spontaneous person, in case you can't tell xD) But I was contemplating having a theme for FAWM. Maybe just a word or phrase. Or maybe a story-like theme. I don't know.

I'll figure it out eventually, I suppose.

Cheat Codes For Life

I should be working on my essay, I really should. But I'm not going to. Not for now, at least.

Is there a cheat code for life? Y'know, to skip this whole 'college experience'? I mean, sure, I'm doing better than I did in high school, but it still sucks.

Rainy Days And A Hazy Future

What do you think of when you think "southern California weather"? Sunny days and beach-worthy nights, right? Well, I think of drought and sweaty summers, but it's essentially the same thing.

Today, however, was incredibly different. I got several calls about a tornado watch. Yeah. We're lucky if we get a couple inches of rain a year, what with living in the desert and all.

Anyway, I think I've more or less made a decision on where I'll transfer for my junior and senior years of college. It sounds so early to think that far ahead, but I'll have to apply by like... next winter or so D:

Oh, right, the decision. Well, I decided to apply to UCLA in hopes of getting out of Riverside, but will apply to UCR as well, as a back up. And if I don't get into either? Hm... well, I guess I'm just screwed then XD

A Pleasant Surprise

Only a couple weeks into the year and I'm already slacking off with my blogging. Sad.

Anyway, the rest of the week, after testing and such was done, went quite well. I got to see my friends one last time before winter break ended for everyone, it was fun... and depressing. But mostly fun.

The weekend, however, kind of sucked, due to major internet issues. I got everything up and running again, however, so it's all good now. Particularly since tomorrow is a holiday and I don't have school~ What a pleasant surprise. :D

Siiiiiick, Dude

For the past few days I've been plagued with a cold of sorts, so I don't have too much to say. I'm doing exceedingly well in all of my classes - I know, I'm surprised too - though tomorrow I have tests in every single one of them.

Hopefully I won't pass out mid exam, there aren't any bells to wake me up in college xD

Well, I figure if I have the energy to joke, I should be on the road to recovery. Though who knows, I do have a tendency to get lost...

Fun Weekend At A... SCHOOL???

So, this weekend my friends and I packed up and drove 5 hours - technically it should have been 3, but there were... issues - north to Santa Barbara to visit our friend at UCSB. It was pretty awesome, and I got a slight taste of what it's like to be at a real campus. (Community college is basically High School 2.0.)

The beach was gorgeous, of course, but the campus itself was ginormous. No joke, it was like an entire city within a city. I'll probably never experience such things first hand, however, as dorms are FREAKISHLY expensive.

Possibilities

While I'm not getting the anime convention filled weekend I'd been planning for months, my friends and I will be going to Santa Barbara tomorrow to see our friend at UCSB. That should be fun. Despite being a SoCal resident, I haven't been to the beach in years.

Though the thought of going that far does sort of frighten me a bit. Imagine how lost we could get. Oh, the possibilities.

I Don't Care

It's funny, all my life I've dealt with people who judge in the same manner, I ignore them. I completely disregard negative comments that I know are not true. And, to be honest, I've never really even cared what other people think of me.

I mean, why should I?

But for the first time in my life, I'm starting to recognize how this stance may negatively impact me. Granted, that probably won't change anything.

Disappointment

Have you ever planned something far in advance, worked out even the smallest of details, but things still didn't work out?

This happens to me. A lot. For some reason, whenever I plan something, things go horridly wrong. People usually can't make it, or if they do, they're a million hours late. It's ridiculous.

Well, anyway, it happened again. No one can make it to Anime L.A. - something I've been planning for months - and I'm not allowed to go alone. So, I just canceled my hotel room, and have a rather large amount of money saved up for... nothing.

I've never been so unhappy about having cash.

School Babbles

Was it really only a couple days ago that I last posted? It seems as though it was an eternity.

So, school is... well... it's school.

Boring classes I can handle, it's the freezing mornings/early wake up time that's killing me. I've gotten about nine hours sleep.... OVER THE PAST THREE DAYS. Oi.

Anyway, my brain is a bit frazzled at the moment, so I'm lacking my usual smart alec anecdotes.

My music class is easy, tolerable in comparison to history. And don't even get me started on my online business class. The teacher is so vague about everything, it's so frustrating. But, whatever, that can easily be dealt with.

I think.

I'm just kind of babbling at this point, aren't I?

Winter Semester Approaches

The first day of winter semester of my freshman year of college rapidly approaches, less than seven hours and I'll be sitting in a classroom, rotting my brain out, once again. It sounds so pleasant, doesn't it?

Normally, winter semester shouldn't be a big deal, after all, I just finished Fall, did I not? Well, due to unforeseen circumstances, my first semester was less than satisfactory. I only had a couple classes, leaving me a bit behind.

So, this upcoming six weeks will be the first period I'll have to live by a preset schedule since I graduated high school, more than six months ago. Needless to say, this will be difficult.

It doesn't really help that I am chronically unorganized and spontaneous.

Thankfully, I am free to leave the domain of education/evil around noon, though this is only because I am forced to start at ungodly hours - 7:35am - which I find to be rather ridiculous. Having Fridays off wasn't a plus - it was a necessity.

The classes that I'm taking range from useless - Intro To Business, to dull - American History, to interesting - Basic Musicianship. Though, of course, preconceived notions of courses are never a good idea. They're usually much worse.